It is well.

a few days ago, I blogged about staying home. I told about my decision to withdraw from the one class that stands between me and my teaching career. and at the time, my mind was still so murky that I couldn't really even type the words out. I couldn't explain what I was doing and I why I was making such a huge shift in my life. Because I really wasn't sure of any of it yet.
But I've prayed a lot about it. And as God likes to do, I've found a peace and clarity that far exceeds my greatest expectations. What I prayed for was less stress, fear, and anxiety. What I've been getting is a new look on life. I've realized over the last few years that I often don't realize what "life" really is. Maybe I'm just now becoming a grown-up. lol. But it occurs to me that we talk about this thing called "life" and all of it's woes and worries. And then when we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of them, we feel like we're the only one who's ever experienced that.
I watched a friend get shot and die in front of my eyes. I was bullied for more than a year, until I finally moved out of that town, because people thought that I was in some way responsible for my friend's death. As soon as I moved, I lost both of my grandfathers. Then 2 close family friends. And when I had begun to recover, my brother died. Life isn't fair.
My husband and I fight over money and never seem to have enough. We've lived with my parents for 2 years now and still aren't ready to buy a house. I've been going to school for 6 years now. And instead of getting easier, it's all just getting harder. I've busted my rear end just for my family to meet end's meet and we're still nowhere close to where we want to be. Welcome to the real world.
My parents are much different than many of my friends' parents. My life has been much different. I've often felt cheated in some ways. That's life.
I often vent about these things because, althought I DON'T want a pity party, it really does feel like everyone else seems to have it so much easier. So much better. But God has shown me that I need to get over that and remember that life is not about what happens; it's about how you deal with it.
I told my husband tonight that the last couple of days had been much better for me. And as I explained it, the old hymn "It is well" came to mind. So I entitled this blog "It is well" because that's how I'm feeling right now. Yeah, I'm putting my career and education on hold. Yeah, it may seem stupid or silly or whatever else. But I am at peace with it. I am at more peace right now, just focusing on ME for a little while, than I have been in a very long time. And so I hopped over to Youtube to listen to that hymn while I blogged... just for a little more peaceful inspiration. And the link I clicked o blew my mind. Because as I sit here typing all this out, God brought the whole topic full circle with the video I watched.
Go to Youtube and search "It is well". Select the 3rd video down (the one that looks like a view of a rock in the ocean as the sun is setting. You'll understad what I'm talking about.
It is well. Right now, it is very well. God Bless!
Melissa